I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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