her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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