Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
