found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
