Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
