I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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