I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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