Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i now understand why vodka
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
