I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
