I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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