My brain says no but my pants say off.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
