I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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