i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
