oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
