you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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