I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
