Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
