was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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