Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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