This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
