you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Someone signed my nipple.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
