I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
