how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
