had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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