Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
