I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
