Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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