the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
