...so i touched it.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
