meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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