Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
