my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
