U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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