do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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