OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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