Already got asked if we're dating
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
