I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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