please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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