God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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