handjob tips. give me some.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She tied me up with her honor cords...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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