How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
