Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
