Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your cock deserves a montage
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
