you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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