It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
