I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
