Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
