No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
