Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
