My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
